Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Bitch Fit 03/30/10: When Good Actors Star In Shitty Movies

I hate it when some of my favorite actors star in some of the worst films. In fact it makes me cry and laugh at the same time. It is sad and funny, but still, you can't help but feel that the actor that is in this film, had their dignity die a little bit for being in this film. Below is a list of actors that have starred in the shittiest films imaginable and keep in mind these are really good and talented actors that deserve so much better than this.

George Clooney - Batman and Robin

What can I say about this film. It is the worst Batman film in the entire franchise and that's saying a lot. What really kills me though is that you take a great and really likable actor like Clooney and put him in this shit film. At least Clooney has a good sense of humor about this film these days.

Uma Thurman - Motherhood, Batman and Robin and My Super Ex-Girlfriend (Tie)

I LOVE Uma Thurman. She is so freaking cool and classy, but that still doesn't spare her from my Bitch List. These films are the worst of the worst and it makes me cry to see such a talented actress (who was nominated for a Best Actress Oscar for Kill Bill)star in such shit and yes she was also in Batman and Robin with Clooney up there too.

Michael Caine - Jaws:The Revenge

This guy is too freaking adorable. He has the cutest puppy dog eyes I have ever seen. But I will take him at his word when he says this about this movie:

"I have never seen the film, but by all accounts it was terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific."

Enough Said.

Christopher Eccelston - G.I. JOE: Rise of The Cobra and Gone In Sixty Seconds (Tie)

This pisses me off quite a bit because here is a guy who is an incredibly talented actor who deserves so much better than being in these piece of shit films.He was the fucking Doctor in Doctor Who and he was and always will be AWESOME! For a talented actor like him, he truly deserves better than this. Also another case in point:

Raul Julia - Street Fighter

This one is really sad. Rumor has it that he took the role of M. Bison because his kids wanted him to be in the film. It was also rumored that he took the part because he was also dying at the time filming started and wanted to make sure that his family were set for life financially. This one is purely tragic as he was one of the few great Latino actors who was not only classy, but also graceful, humble and funny.
But still this movie is a piece of shit, but at least Julia made it entertaining.

Halle Berry - Catwoman

This one is fairly obvious and she knew this film was a piece of shit. She even showed up to accept her Razzie for this film. What I love about her is her humility and her sense of humor.

Bob Hoskins - Super Mario Bros.

I LOVE this guy. He is such an amazing actor and a joy to watch on screen performing. He reminds me so much of my dad. Simply put Bob Hoskins was part of my childhood. He starred in two of my favorite films as a kid, Brazil and Who Framed Roger Rabbit. This film raped and destroyed my childhood. It was that awful.

Dennis Hopper - Super Mario Bros.

Same thing about Hoskins, but he starred in and directed the really cool Easy Rider. At least they both admitted that they did this movie for money.

Robert De Niro - Too many to count

I have noticed lately that De Niro has been doing some pretty shitty movies. I think he's really doing it for the money, but because he's Robert fucking De Niro he can get away with it.

Ewan McGreggor - Angels and Demons and the Star Wars Prequels (Tie)

What woman wouldn't want to cheat on their husbands with this sexy Scottish actor who is also very charming and intelligent. Anyway, his appearances in such shit as Angels and Demons and the Star Wars Prequels is enough to make me weep very sadly.

Tim Roth and Gary Oldman - A lot of movies

I don't even know where to begin with these two. The reason why I mentioned both of them is because they have been BFF's since they performed Shakespearean plays together in England. They have also starred in a lot of awful movies. The Hit is one (I will review and torture myself watching this film), Quest For Camelot and Lost In Space for Oldman. What I like about these guys is that they're honest about the shitty choices that they have made about their films. It pays the bills and puts food on the table. At least Roth has a successful TV show called Lie To Me which is excellent by the way and Oldman has the Rebooted Batman franchise to look forward to.

Drew Barrymore, Edward James Olmos, Andy Garcia, Jamie Lee Curtis and Placido Domingo - Beverly Hills Chihuahua

Okay my parents and my grandmother love this movie. I think it is the strangest acid trip, two hour long Taco Bell commercial I have ever seen. This film is also offensive in so many levels that it is just wrong (I am going to review this one as well)

That is it for now, but I am sure there are plenty more. And I'm sure that there will be a lot of debates about this.

Stay Sassy Planet Earth,
The Move Bitch

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