Sunday, July 3, 2011

Green Lantern: The Most Awkward Super Hero Film of The Year



It's official.

My friend really owes me one for making me sit through Star Ballz and Green Lantern. Either that or I need to get new friends.

At any rate where do I begin with Green Lantern?

This movie is incredibly awkward from start to finish. I am going to be honest in saying that I am not very familiar with Green Lantern at all (I'm more of a Batman kind of girl) but the very few things I do know about him is that Hal Jordan is the Green Lantern and the color yellow (which represents fear) is the kryptonite of the Green Lantern Corp.

If that's the case then Green Lanterns can't really enjoy fetish play like Golden Showers or they can't have sunflowers because yellow makes them weak, hell if you want to beat them just throw a bucket of yellow paint on them and you're good to go.

I am joking of course, again I have no idea how it works because I am not familiar with the Green Lantern Mythos.

I can give some credit to the film for at least explaining how the Green Lanterns work and how they function as an army and how their powers work.

Everywhere else is where it falls flat.

It's not a bad movie, but it's not great at all. This film is an awkward hot mess, like Charlie Sheen after a 3 day bender with transvestite hookers (I will stop with the Charlie Sheen jokes). The pacing of the film is incredibly uneven from beginning to end. The beginning and middle of the film flows very slowly and the end speeds up drastically. The pacing is off-kilter, making this film really uneven.

The direction of the film is really off too because it is has a hard time deciding whether it wants to be campy or take itself seriously. There are moments in the film where it's supposed to be funny and it isn't and then there are moments in the film that are supposed to be serious but end up being incredibly funny (Hector Hammond's transformation scene comes to mind in this case, but I will touch on the acting in a moment).

The flying and CGI effects are not terrible and are actually very decent and nice to look at. I will be the first to say that while I agree that Hollywood films tend to over-utilize CGI for everything (hell I wouldn't even be surprised to see CGI in Romantic Comedies, shit it would even be a 3D movie), in this case it wasn't overdone (something that Michael Bay needs to learn, but he will get his due, this I promise) which turned out in the film's favor.

The plot is pretty weak and standard as far as super hero origin stories go. I understand they were trying to follow the comics and adapt slightly to reflect the current sensibilities of the 21st Century, but it feels so standard. The beginning of the film in which Hal flashes back to his father's death in the plane accident, I didn't really feel any sympathy or pain for the character because I didn't really see much of their relationship together at all in the film which is a shame because this film needed to at least show how close Hal was to his father and how much he admired and loved him, instead it was rushed and put together. In comparison to Hector Hammond, Hammond is a lot more fleshed out and a more complex character. I can see his relationship with his father and in fact, I feel more sympathy for him than I do for Hal (you shouldn't really sympathize with the villian, but I do in this case). Hector is a more fleshed out and complex character and is a lot more relateable to people than Hal Jordan.

As promised, I am going to touch on the acting. The acting is really standard with the exception of Peter Sarsgard. Ryan Reynolds pretty much plays the Green Lantern as himself dressed up as the Green Lantern for Halloween. I really cannot stand him because every time he does a film, he comes off as this arrogant, self-centered, childish, obnoxious douchebag that I want to punch in the face over and over and over again. I understand that he is attractive and he has a certain charm to him (the douchey kind), but he's not a great actor when it comes to films, he's better off doing TV shows. Blake Lively is no Oscar winning actress either. She's not terrible but good god she is so dull! She has no life and brings no excitement or spunk to her character. I can clearly see that she was picked for the way her breasts looked in a dress as opposed to her skills for this film.

In all honesty, the only thing that made this film somewhat tolerable for me was Peter Sarsgard. His performance was so over the top it was so funny. I had a feeling that he knew this movie wasn't going to be good and he just thought "Fuck it, I am going to camp this shit up and make it entertaining for some people." It's a shame that a talented actor like him had to do this film (this is the same guy that did great films like Jarhead and Garden State), I get that he did it for the money and he had fun with the role, but seriously! He is so much better than this!

Overall, Green Lantern is an awkward film. It cannot decide whether or not it wants to be campy or serious. The acting is incredibly standard and phoned in (with the exception of Sarsgard), the plot is weak and forgettable and it lacks the heart and spirit that Thor had. Not to mention the pacing of the film is incredibly schizophrenic and off-kilter making it very difficult for anyone to follow along with the film or the story.

I would not even waste the $10 that I paid to see this movie, This film is better off as a rental, or just skip it altogether and read the comics.

My name is Maricruz Gonzalez and I'm the Movie Bitch...because somebody has to be.

Stay Sassy Planet Earth!

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