This will be a different post today ( I will get my review for Starship Troopers up this week, I promise). I want to post something that I hope will help all of you in some way shape or form. I know things have been tough, but I want you all to know that it gets better. Here are things that I've learned (so far) in my years of existence:
1. Yes, I am aware that life is a bitch then you die, but in retrospect it's not so bad, it could always be so much worse.
I have heard everyone in the entire universe say that "life is a bitch," and "life is unfair." Here is the short end of it, it could be so much worse. As my friend Khrys said to me when I told him that my life is in the shit hole, he said to me "it could be so much worse, you could be run over by a car." I agree with him. No matter how bad things get, the worse thing that could happen to you is that you could be dead.
I know life was rather difficult and shitty when we were in our teens and it's no different now for all teenagers around the world. It gets better when you become an adult becuase you can control the situation and make things happen. Again, things could be much worse and in other parts of the world, things are worse for a lot of people. There are people in other countries starving to death and dying of malnutrition becuase they don't have access to proper food and water and there are people in other countries that have no access to a proper education.
Life is bitch, and I agree, but remember that things could be so much worse, so be thankful for what you have and then work on making things happen and give back to people that don't have much.
2. Be kind, loving and generous to everyone.
I know this is a hard one for a lot of people. Yes there are assholes that will take advantage of you at any opportune moment that they can get, but you need to be better than that. What I have learned (and I have learned the hard way) is that people will take advantage of you no matter what, but it still hasn't made me bitter to the world and it still hasn't shaken my faith in the goodness and kindness of humanity. There are times when I should be mean and spiteful to people, but what will that accomplish? It accomplishes nothing. I'm not saying that you don't have the right to be angry at people (you do) but it's how you approach it that makes the world of a difference. I am guilty of over-reacting and losing my temper with people, but it didn't accomplish anything for me for the most part and it only let to hurt feelings.
To sum up my point, love is stronger than hate, but it's also more difficult to love than hate. I think it's time that we brought a little more love, generosity and kindness into this world.
(Yes you can dislike someone you don't get along with, but when dealing with those people, be as courteous and polite as possible, be the better and classier person in the situation.)
3. You will find someone.
I know I am going to get a flurry of angry comments for this one, but hear me out before you decide to break your half of the bottle and say "Bitch, I will cut you."
I know that there are some of you that have been down in the dumps lately becuase you can't find love or you feel like you are going to die alone in this world.
(For those of you that have found your soul mate, this may not apply but it will apply for your single friends)
Let me calm all of you down in saying that you will find someone, it may take days, weeks, months, hell maybe even years before that someone finds you. Thing is, there are two things that make this work, timing and chemistry.
I have been in many situations in which the timing was right but the chemistry wasn't there and vice versa. Once those two are in perfect harmony with one another, then you have to work on the rest. Relationships are hard work and there needs to be maturity and understanding in dealing with them. If in the end both parties are not compatible, move on, eat some ice cream and focus on yourself.
All I'm saying is you will find someone, it just takes time and patience. And some ice cream will be involved.
4. Good and True Friends are a rarity, hold on to them.
I have friends, in fact I love my friends and I hold and love them dearly. I have also had friends that were "false." I got rid of the "false" ones. It took me years to distinguish between the two, but once I did I have been much happier. You will have "friends" that are high maintenance , moochers, shit starters, abusers, pessimists, negative, mean and opportunists (the bad kind mind you), those are the ones that you need to drop. "Friends" like that will make you feel very bad and low and you don't need that. Good Friends are harder to come by and you won't know when someone will be a good friend until you make the time and effort to get to know someone. It's good to have friends from all walks of life and the ones that you may not see for a long time but when they call you to check up on you or when you run into them and they still greet you with a big warm smile and open arms and pick up where you left off and listen to your worries and fears with an open heart and give you their honest feedback and really truly have your best interests at heart, those are the ones you want in your life.
5. You are beautiful no matter what society says, so stop listening to society.
When I was coming up, I would hear all of my girlfriends and guy friends tell me that they are "ugly," "gross," "undesirable," etc. I'm sure all of you have thought that as well at some point in your lives. I have even heard horror stories from some of my friends how they have had family members put them down becuase of their appearance and even some of my friends have told me how their desperate mothers would give them diet pills in order to get them to loose weight at 10 years old, let me repeat that, 10 years old.
I want all of you to listen to me and I will not repeat myself when I say this:
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG YOU, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND FINE THE WAY YOU ARE!! STOP LISTENING TO THE PEOPLE THAT SAY OTHERWISE BECAUSE THEY DO NOT WHAT THE FUCK THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT AND REALLY HATE THEMSELVES! THEREFORE THEY TAKE IT OUT ON YOU. STOP LISTENING TO THOSE PEOPLE!!!!!
We live in a culture that is so obsessed with a false ideal of beauty. We should not buy into that becuase that's what they want. They want us to hate ourselves and destroy ourselves just so that we can buy into their harmful and false propaganda. These people are sick and they have a warped sense of what real beauty is. Real beauty lies in the personality, intelligence and character of the person, not in their looks.
6. Have a sense of humor and be able to laugh at yourself.
Life is no fun if you're serious all of the time. Having a sense of humor is really important and a life full of laughter is better than a life without. If you have laugh lines around your eyes and mouth, don't get rid of them! Enjoy and embrace them because that means you've more than likely or are living a happy and fun life.
So yes, laugh a little more, it really puts you in a better mood.
7. Food is delicious.
Well it is. It doesn't matter what kind, whatever you eat, if you like it, enjoy it and savor it. Not many people around the world can afford to eat the foods they like, they have to eat what's available, so don't take that good fortune that you have for granted.
8. Be honest and true to yourself and others.
Do I really need to explain this one? Maybe a little I suppose. In other words it's better to be honest with yourself and others becuase if you're not, you're only making yourself look worse and you are hurting yourself in the end.
9. Don't be afraid of getting older, embrace it!
I look forward to getting older. In fact I can't wait to get wrinkles and look like an old person. I think I will be the coolest Granny around! You may think I have lost my mind (I have but that's another story), but getting older is not so bad. Granted, you shouldn't lose the ability to be playful and have fun with life, but when you get older, you become wiser and you are able to pass on your knowledge and advice to others who will need it. You will feel good doing that because you get to learn more about what they are going through.
Things get better when you are older and you can make things happen as I have said before. Why? Because you know better (hopefully) and will know how to deal with it so that you don't make the same mistakes (hopefully).
10. You will be okay. You will survive and things will work out in your favor in the end.
This year has been incredibly rough on me. I had a broken engagement, had my heart broken so many times, had to get rid of a few "toxic" friends, couldn't find full time work in the field that I went to school for, which is forcing me to go Grad School for my Masters (against my own will).
Yet I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life.
What also happened to me this year was that I have met new friends, seen and experienced new things, got involved in the art scene (and enjoying every minute of it), rediscovered an old part of me that I had to suppress (that I never should have done) and I am going to be moving in with my older brother, and I will be able to afford to do that (I will have to curb my spending big time, but that won't bother me too much).
Things are finally looking up for me. Again things were bad for me for a while and I honestly have no right to complain becuase I know a few people who are having it a lot more rough than I am, but I know that they will be okay and that everything will work out for them. I can't say when (I hope soon for everyone's sake) but I know it will work out. Why?
Because you will survive and you will be okay.
I know things may be rough but you will come up victorious in the end and better for it too.
Trust me, I have been there, and I have emerged victorious and now I will put on my big smile and march proudly forth into the future.
Good Luck, Godspeed and Stay Sassy with much love, peace, kindness, respect and happiness,
The Movie Bitch